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I have a situation.  Don't know what to do. Hoping that the listeners can help.

My mom is an immigrant who came to the United States when she was already retired from her job in Jamaica at age 65. She also helped me to take care of my daughter, so I could go back to college. My mom had a stroke about 4 years ago. It was my mom's birthday and my sister called to tell her happy birthday. I noticed her speech was slurred so I called the Ambulance. At the Hospital, the doctor did the physical test but rule out stroke because my mom was answering all the questions that were asked but I new something was wrong with her speech. I pointed out to the doctor, that she doesn't speak like that but the doctor said, it was UTI. She had the stroke the following day in the Hospital so if the doctor had administered the proper medication, she would be walking today. She is now paralyzed on the right side. She needs help to be transferred from her bed to her wheelchair etc. She is in a nursing home and everything was going well until the pandemic of Covid-19 hits.

My sister and I usually visit our mom very regularly. We usually wash her clothes, and take care of her personals care like cutting her finger nails, cut her hair, bathing her. When I saw her a few days ago, her hands were so dry, her skin started to peel and she had lotions that I personally buy for her.  She had dandruff so bad it was also on her eyebrows. Even her soap, deodorants and toothpaste etc. I buy. My mom's unit was the smallest in the entire  facility; therefore, it was now COVID-19 unit and so all the patient's were removed to other units.

One day early April 2020, I went to visit my mom as her bed is close to the window. Family members were not allowed in the facility. I noticed her roommate was not in bed. Few minutes later I saw a lady approaching the same window I was at talking to my mom.  She was looking for her mother because she got a call from the facility that her mother had the COVID -19 and she doesn't know where the COVID-19 unit was located. I was surprised that after Administration found out that the roommate had COVID-19 that my mom wasn't removed from the room immediately. The roommate's chucks and blankets etc. were still on the bed. I then called my sisters to let them know what was going on. One of my sisters decided to called the facility to find out what was going on and why our mom wasn't moved to another room since her room was infected with COVID-19. The Director of Social Services then called my cell and we spoke for a few minutes. I asked her when was my mother going to another room and her reply was soon. The Director of Nursing came outside to speak to me. She said she was in a meeting and she was going to move my mom soon. My mom was on observation for two weeks then she was remove to another room with another roommate.

The facility tests the patients frequently and thank God my mom was negative for months. My mom doesn't leave her room at all. On 12/15/2020 I got a call from administration that my mom caught COVID-19. On the 12/18/2020, my mom went to the hospital because she had a temperature of 102.2and she was having problems breathing.

She came out of the hospital on 12/24/2020 and was negative on 1/4/2021. Thank God she recovered. 

My mom looks like she doesn't have anybody because of the lack of care that she receives. My mom's hair wasn't cut from March of last year until a few days ago after I spoke to the administration. I even had to buy a set of hair cutting tools for her. Her nails were dirty and long. She had lost a lot of weight. I had to speak to her unit manager about the lack of care personal care that mom was receiving. She said at times her CNA just comes in and change her diaper without even wiping her down and she has gotten UTI a couple of times since the pandemic. Her hands looks deformed because there is no armrest n her wheelchair to keep her hand straight. She had one in her first room but when she was removed from that room, it was not taken with her. It is months now  and still no armrest table. I have spoken to several persons about it and nothing  has been done.

There are days after visiting her, I come home and cry. I hardly sleep at nights. I even was having a panic attack the other day after seeing her so depressed and unhappy. She keep asking me when am I going to take her out because she wants to go home.

The facility is now allowing the patients to go to doctor's visit so I took my mom to the eye doctor and she came our of the facility in her sweat bottom and a shirt that she would normally wear in the facility and she had more appropriate clothes for such occasions. There were no shoes on her feet, only socks and she has more than one shoes at the facility in her room. I had to ask a lady who came outside with her when transportation arrived, to go get her shoe.  

My mom's hair and her nails are finally cut after I pointed it out to the head of the unit. I do not work there and I see these things that need to be done the little time I see my mom and the workers see her every day yet they don't realize that her personal needs are to be addressed.

I want my mom to come live with me, but even though I work two jobs, I am still unable to pay for a CNA to come in to stay with her during the day. I have asked the state to assist with this CNA, but they are unwilling to give as many hours as she needs. I have appealed that decision and I am awaiting that decision. I wrote a letter to her insurance and received 20 hours then I appealed and got a little more hours. At this point I am thinking of quitting jobs and look for a job where I can stay home to take care of her if I don't get the hours from the state. I have even written to a popular daytime TV personality for assistance with the payment of the CNAs but I haven't gotten a reply.

Additionally, in order for her to move home, I will need  to modify my bathroom to accommodate my mother and I will have to borrow some money from the bank to complete this.

Do you think I should write a letter to some organization asking to help in the weekly payment of the CNA's and if so, what organization?  Should I take my mom out of the facility and bring her home? Should I quit my job and seek a remote job?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?




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